This week's Daily Record column is entitled "Practicing Law in the 21st Century." The article is set forth in full below and a pdf of the article can be found here.
My past Daily Record articles can be accessed here.
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Lawyering is quite the balancing act
“What struck us as we reviewed the results of these forums was that
the attorneys’ responses — regardless of their number of years in
practice, size of firm, practice setting, etc. — were consistent on one
central point: They all were having a very difficult time
achieving a balanced life in the law. Again, we wish to
emphasize that when we refer to a balanced professional
and personal life, we embrace ... not only attention to private
interests, family and friends, but also involvement in
bar association, civic, and community activities, all of
which contribute to achieving a well-balanced life. …
Most felt that, at the time they decided to go to law school,
they didn’t fully appreciate the extent of the demands a
legal career would place on them.”
— New York State Bar Association’s “Final Report of
the Special Committee on Balanced Lives in the Law,”
March 7
As the recent NYSBA “Final Report of the Special Committee
on Balanced Lives in the Law” concluded, the law can be all
encompassing.
It’s always been that way, hence the saying “the law is a jealous
mistress.”
Attempting to balance one’s chosen career with other non-legal
obligations such as the demands of life outside of the office can
be a delicate and difficult balancing act for both male and female
lawyers.
Prior to becoming a lawyer, I didn’t give the idea of work/life
balance much thought. All I’ve ever really wanted to do is litigate.
I spent the first half of my life methodically planning and creating
a strong foundation for the first few years of my life as a litigator.
But, I was shortsighted and failed to consider that life
might throw me a curve ball when I least expected it — in my
case, just three weeks before my wedding, when the man I would
soon call my husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer.
Not surprisingly, that diagnosis changed me. It changed
everything.
I’d met the man I loved and was going to live happily ever after,
as both a lawyer and “wife,” much as that term annoyed me.
Maybe we’d have kids, too. Who knew?
And then, on that fateful day in April 1998, he was diagnosed
with testicular cancer. If he survived, there was a good chance we
would face fertility issues. Fertility issues, of all things — when
I wasn’t even sure I wanted kids. And, he might die,
although, we were assured his particular cancer was
“quite curable.” Apparently, we were supposed to feel
good about that.
I tried to feel hopeful, but it wasn’t easy. The most
difficult times of the day for me were the commutes to
and from work. I would find myself stuck in rush hour
traffic, seemingly unable to think of anything but the
horrible cancer that was invading his body and ruining
my marriage before it even began.
Once at work, I was fine (in large part due to the
support and understanding of my then-supervisor Jill
Paperno, for which I am eternally grateful).
My demanding schedule as an assistant public
defender kept my mind more than occupied during the day.
Immersing myself in my work seemed to do wonders for my
outlook, and at the time I prided myself in the fact that I’d
missed only two days of work throughout the entire course of his
treatment.
In retrospect, I was taking the easy way out. I avoided the difficult
task of confronting reality by convincing myself that my all-important
career came first. My husband attended appointments
alone, including the doctor’s visit where he was advised his cancer
was more serious than originally thought.
If I could do it all again, I’d have been by his side more often
throughout this trying time.
Judging from the results of the NYSBA’s study, I’m not alone in
my misgivings about the demands of my chosen career. Perhaps
the results and recommendations of the study will assist in bringing
about a much-needed change in the profession and in the attitudes
of those at the top of the legal ladder.