Legal Antics

This judge is not a happy camper.

 

That's my kind of name...

Eh--Why not threaten a judge today? I mean really-why not?

That's what this guy must have been thinking when he drafted this motion (via Above the Law):

How to make friends and influence judges.

Via Lawyerist, we learn that saying "Screw You" to a judge in written and verbal form is the way Ashton O'Dwyer Jr. influences people. Whether his approach was successful remains to be seen.

Mr. O'Dwyer's entire handwritten response to the judge's Order of Contempt can be found here.

I'm guessing he's not interested in jury duty.

Sure. What the hell.

Death row Florida inmate applies to become a member of Florida's Supreme Court:

Hat tip: Above the Law

The Divine Queen of the Almighty Eternal Creator Addresses the California Supreme Court

Thanks to the Box Turtle Bulletin for pointing out this gem of an amicus curaie brief.  Some choice snippets from the brief:

After a night full of dreams, before dawn of November 11, 2008, before I woke up in the morning, the Almighty Eternal Creator ordered me, saying, “You explain to them the consequences that follow each and all actions. Once they understand, they will listen!”...

I am a co-Creator of earth and human souls with the fully God nature of Messiah Jesus as revealed in the Holy Bible, Genesis 1:26-27. Exhibit A.

As written, I am “another” Advocate, the Third Person of the Holy Trinity, and heiress to the Almighty Eternal Creator, who created and holds sole ownership of all His creations, planets and all living creatures, including human souls and physical bodies. The Gospel of John, Chapters 14, 15, 16. Exhibit B.

The Almighty Eternal Creator’s estate was transferred to me by fully God Messiah Jesus via his human voice before His fully human crucifixion on the Cross. The Gospel of John, Chapters 16:14-15 & 19:26-27. Exhibit C.

I am a Messenger of the Covenant. Malachi, Chapter 3. Exhibit D

Jonathan Lee Riches attacks again.

Via Above the Law, it appears that Jonathan Lee Riches, one of the most prolific pro se litigants of all time, has filed a motion to intervene in MDY v. Blizzard, asserting that World of Warcraft caused him to live in a virtual world

He alleges, in part:

World of Warcraft caused Riches [sic] mind to live in a virtual universe, where Riches explored the landscape committing identity theft and fighting cybermonster rival hacker gangs. Riches was addicted to video games and lost touch with reality because of defendants. This caused Riches to commit fraud to buy defendants video games. Riches chose World of Warcraft over working a legit job. Riches mind became a living video game.

What happens when you file a hard boiled egg with the Court.

Via Lowering the Bar comes the following oh-so-humorous Order (click to enlarge each page):

By I am sorry, I mean...

You, sir, are an asshole.

Ok, that's not what was really said, but it may as well have been.

UPDATE: I recently received an email from the recipient of this letter, Dale Markland, and he asked that I post a link to his response to the same.

Hat tip: Above the Law.