Legal Antics

Am I the only one confused by the lap dance reference?

Lawyer wants to bring hot girl to the strip club tonight - 34 (Ft. Lauderdal - W Hotel)

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Date: 2011-04-18, 9:54AM EDT

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Hi! I am an attorney here in Ft. Lauderdale for business. I am staying at the W Hotel. I am good-looking, athletic (former college football player), confident, assertive, strong, intelligent, and successful.

I am going to be in meetings for most of the day, but after work I am going to head to one of the local strip clubs to have some fun.

I am going to bring 1-2 hot girls with me. Would you like to come? Be fun, sexy and willing to put on your best outfit. I would be more than happy to buy you a lap dance or two.

No expectations, just want to enjoy myself while I am in town.

Pack a bikini if you want to hang out in the W Hotel pool afterward.

Respond back with a description of yourself and what club you would recommend.

• Location: Ft. Lauderdal - W Hotel
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 2331965247

I'll never look at tuna noodle casserole the same way again.

Friend with benefits - m4w - 102 (Chigwell Essex)

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Date: 2011-04-06, 6:58PM BST

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Mature sexy attractive lawyer seeks sexy young female friend whom he can shower with "benefits" in return for good company over a dinner table with a long tablecloth -- tonight would be good as I have a large casserole to show you but failing that at your convenience ( not literally of course ).

• Location: Chigwell Essex
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 2308873842

Isn't he clever. He wants to "ski." In Mantattan. Get it?

Want to ski? - m4w - 31 (Manhattan)

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Date: 2011-03-12, 12:25AM EST

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31 y/o lawyer, very successful, very attractive, very sane, and very real seeks same for a little skiing fun this evening. Just got back from a pretty boring night out and not ready to call if quits... Please send a pic and a little info about yourself if interested. I will reply with my pic and if the attraction is mutual, we will meet up and have a little fun. let me know.

• Location: Manhattan
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 2260941950

Learn from the master. Or something.

Wow, this guy sure knows how to seel himself to women via boring, analytical observations and conclusions. I'm especially fond of his very logical statement regarding the likely end result of kissing. I'm sure that line works just as well in bars as it does in Craigslist ads.

Live and learn, boys. Live and learn.

The REAL Deal - 58 (Freehold (Monmouth))

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Date: 2011-01-27, 4:32PM EST

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Mature, well-educated, professional (lawyer) seeks a warm, kind, well-educated, sexy lady.

This is no time to be modest, so: I am friendly, kind, and warm.

Judging from the number of women who have been seriously interested in me over a long time period, I am no "frog."

On the other hand, beauty (and handsomeness) are in the eyes of the beholder, so you will need to judge for yourself.

I love to kiss -- and be kissed -- by a great kisser. That usually leads to more physical intimacy.

I am seeking an ongoing relationship, not a "one night stand."

I will be happy to hear from you soon.

B

This guy must've failed his persuasive writing class

Professional White Guy - LONELY - 38 (The Beach in S. Jersey)

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Date: 2010-06-12, 12:53PM EDT

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Hello ladies:

I am a recently divorced white guy looking to find real love again. I am not trying to "hook up" and I don't want an escort. I won't sign up to any third site to "verify that I am real and over 18 or not a criminal or any other b.s. like that" so please don't bother asking.

I am 5'10, 185 pounds. I have short brown hair and brown eyes. I am a good looking guy, I keep myself in shape and I am not bald or fat.

I have been a lawyer for the past 11 years but I am quitting. Likewise, I am selling my house and moving, but only by about 150 feet next door, which is my parents house and is the house I expect to own some day. I am only doing this now because since I am divorced and selling my house, I need a place to stay and my father is old and sick and my mom needs help with him.....so, I am going to be the good son for a little while (until I go crazy) and try to help her with him until I figure out the next chapter of my life.

Like I said, I am selling my house, and quitting my job. I will be completely debt free for the first time in my life since I was about 17, which is a good feeling, and I own my car outright. I live in South Jersey (Cape May County) so I am about 5 minutes from Stone Harbor Beaches.

I do not have any kids but do hope to have one or 2 some day (an heir and a spare). I am hoping to meet a nice pretty white girl with a brain in her head, preferably Christian, who does NOT have any kids yet. Children need a father and if they already have one, I don't want to be Daddy No. 2. The only exception is if you are a widow. Then, thats a whole different story and I would have no problem with meeting you. I really miss having a woman in my life. I was very happily married but apparently my wife was not. This hurt in a way that I can not describe. So, I am trying to find a nice girl again and trying to pick a girl up at a bar is just not my style.

If you are around 30, and are looking to meet a nice white guy who is a few years older than you, and you are pretty and not fat and hopefully Christian (or at least not an atheist or a Muslim) then PLEASE....send me an email. We can chat as long as you wish before ever deciding to meet each other. I am not trying to rush anything, but damn, I am lonely and frustrated. I know there must be a lot of girls that fit the category of what I am looking for and I know that I have a lot to offer to the right one. So, give it a shot. We can go to the beach if you want....cocktails are on me!

Peace,

AJ
ps.....Pictures are nice!

• Location: The Beach in S. Jersey
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1788383950

Well this guy's creative...

Cute lawyer seeking very attractive girl needing free Green Card - 31 (Midtown East)

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Date: 2010-05-22, 4:39PM EDT

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The title pretty much says it all I guess, but that is what I am looking for. I am a U.S. born citizen and a lawyer, and I am familiar with the petitions that need to completed and I have also represented clients at their interviews at teh USCIS. Lately, I've seen many of my friends getting married, and I wonder if the institution of marriage is for me, so I figured I'd do this, which is a win-win situation for both of us. I'll get to find out in 2.5 years (the time it takes to get a Permanent GC) whether I'm able to live with someone, be with someone, every day, etc., and you will have a permanent green card and will be able to stay in the country legally for the rest of your life. I am NOT interested in monetary compensation because, technically, that's a crime, but what I'm offering is not. However, since I am not asking for money, and since I have to be with you for approximately 2.5 years (if we actually fall in love, even better; if not, we can file for an uncontested divorce, which is very easy), I would strongly prefer that you be very attractive. Not just attractive. Not attractive in your eyes. But objectively attractive. You know who you are. All very beautiful women know they are beautiful. As for me, I'm 30, handsome, employed (we'd live comfortably), in-shape, and treat women with respect. Ideally, you're on the petite side, light eyes, ideally from an English-speaking country (like England, or Canada), in-shape, and fun to be around. In addition, you won't have to pay for rent or bills while you're living with me (I'll pay those since I'd be paying those whether I'm married or single). If you are going to respond, then respond and tell me about yourself. I'm not going to respond to 1-sentence emails or emails that just ask for a picture. I look forward to hearing from some girls who want to become Americans:-)

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1754412813

I couldn't make it to the end of this one. I feel unclean.

'DADDY/DAUGHTER' role play with handsome, generous lawyer 'Dad' - m4w - 64 (New Jersey, Rockland Cnty, NY, near Pa )

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Date: 2010-04-16, 11:41AM EDT

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PROLOGUE;
A very recent and very successful 'Daddy/Daughter' scenario just mutually concluded most amicably-truly!

I am a handsome, very youthful and very active 64 year old Caucasian Jewish gentleman from Morris County, NJ, recently retired corporate lawyer, 6' 4" tall, 230 pounds, strong, fit, healthy-member upscale health club/spa/gym/large pool in/outdoor, more and attending 3-4 x per week and you can be my guest anytime you like, non smoker, upscale, upbeat, humorous, trustworthy, dependable, discreet and safe for you and having no particular skin color, religion or ethnicity in mind, is seeking a fine female of age 25 and up-employed or not, married or not, who would like to fully role play as my 'daughter'.

It is springtime now and nice weather is upon us, soon summer and there are soooooo many super nice activities a Daddy and Daughter can do together-really, I am not just saying this.
In addition, I am a well rated dice and blackjack player and in addition to doing day trips to Atlantic City, I can easily book one or more nights there and soon in May for 3-4 days to Niagara Falls, Canada-Fallsview Casino Resort Hotel, Niagara Falls, Ontario Canada-Google this grand and beautiful new place, but a passport is needed and then to Las Vegas this year.
I know how to treat a 'daughter' very well when she is a good girl and even better when she is a bad girl.

We would have regular erotic and intense sexual meetings, as schedules permit, in a situation with you as my 'daughter'.
This would result in mutually complete sexual satisfaction and fulfillment and emotional contentment-I have real and very successful experience in this type of situation.
I believe that sexual fulfillment must not be denied, as it is as important to the well being of a person desiring to be as healthy as possible, as the basic needs of food and shelter.

Fine dining, various types of gifts from Victoria Secret, Bloomingdales and other fine shops, travel outings to resort areas, as Atlantic City, beaches, country and other resort areas and similar destinations will be part of our situation, if and when you so desire these.
I have much free and flexible time to fit around your schedule.

Just about all that my dearest 'daughter' may desire, as your 'Daddy' wants to please and spoil you, my 'daughter'.
We will have much fun and attain mutual happiness, all of which will make our respective private home lives to become much smoother.

Your married 'Daddy' needs you and you need me-my loooooooong time spouse and I are friends with no sex play.
Lost to cancer in early 2009 was my lovely bi sexual female lover of 15 years.
If you are bi curious or bi sexual, we will fulfill that side of you, together, as a team.

Contact me now my dear 'daughter', with your details and photos and I will reply promptly to all sincere females with my photos and private cell number.
Please be assured,that whatever may go on between us, will stay with us only!

Do not be bashful-be open and honest as I am here and reply to your 'Daddy'.
In addition, I will answer any questions that you may have.
You will be very pleased with me when we meet-you can ask my mom in Florida how great I am and she will tell you so-I hope!

Should you feel that you are not young enough to be my 'daughter', I will offer other sexually erotic and fulfilling scenarios for our discussion.
Please reply to this ad if you are a sincere interested female of age 25 and up.

I am real and sincere, please be the same-NO SUGAR DADDY or similar type seekers.

Please place the word 'DADDY' in the subject line of your reply and I will open your message reply knowing that you are a real female.

Hugs and kisses to you, dearest daughter-I luv to kiss and cuddle and luv lots!

Sure sucks to be a grumpy ol' lawyer Luddite, doesn't it?

A man with beauty and brains. Pinch me. I must be dreaming.

Beauty/Brains: Successful Lawyer, Sexy Model Looking 4 HOT LATIN GIRL

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Date: 2010-04-08, 8:41PM PDT

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If you are looking for the rare combination of beauty and brains, you have found it. I am an intelligent attorney who is successful with my own practice. I am also a model with ripped body and a nice face and smile. I'm doing well in both fields. I also have a great personality, very funny and well-spoken and cultured.

I would love to meet a sexy Latina woman with a nice body and a great smile. You should also be smart, drama-free and really cool to be around. We can go out and take a drive in my convertible with the top down or just stay home and exchange passionate kisses.

If you are a pretty Latin woman, please contact me for pics!

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1683374592

Dude-just buy a few pairs at Victoria's Secret & call it a day.

Overworked and alone - m4w - 28 (LA)

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Date: 2010-04-03, 10:20PM PDT

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To much time filing legal briefs and not enough time playing with a woman's panties. I am 28, 6' 2", and a former soccer player in college. And I still have that tall lean body, nice legs, and sexy ass. I work a lot. i do not want to get involved with another lawyer. I want to meet someone who likes pizza, cold drinks, and midnight drives along the coast. Oh yes, and someone who likes to play naughty. I am open to age and race. Please send a picture and tell me three interesting things about yourself.

• Location: LA
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1675627919