How to argue like a lawyer.

Via Funny and Jokes:

Use meaningless but weighty-sounding words and phrases.

Memorize this list:

Let me put it this way

In terms of

Vis-a-vis

Per se

As it were

Qua

So to speak

You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as “Q.E.D.”, “e.g.”, and “i.e.” These are all short for “I speak Latin, and you don’t.”

Here’s how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say, “Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don’t have enough money.”

You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say, “Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-a-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Q.E.D.”

Only a fool would challenge that statement.

Comments

[Kimberly]

As it were, thank you for that.

[Christopher G. Hill]

This is funny. I am always trying not to talk like this. Maybe, I should start.

[Joe at F&J]

I try to say "Per Se" as much as possible, per se. Thanks for the plug Kimberly :) I'll try to throw in some law humor for ya first chance I get.