Legal Antics

Those crazy law clerks.

Here's a comic from a great new legal humor blog I recently discovered, Courtoons:

The stupidity of lawyer advertising-revealed.

Shortly thereafter--the thrill was gone.

1PM Ohmigah, a Photocopier? Cute!

Law student intern #1: on first day: Wow, look, we get cubicles!

Law student intern #2: Oh my god! This is so cool. It's just like on The Office!

Vancouver
Canadia
via Overheard in the Office, Jan 23, 2009

This is another lawyer disclaimer, capiche?

Yet another feisty lawyer disclaimer, this time compliments of taxgirl, aka Kelly Phillips Erb.

And finally, let’s make sure we understand a couple of things, ok?

1. Unless you have a representation letter in hand, you and I don’t have an attorney-client relationship, capiche? I mean, I’m sure you’re a nice person. I appreciate you stopping by the blog. But it doesn’t mean anything more (I’m having a weird deja vu to a couple of bad dates in college).

2. This blog isn’t meant to offer you legal advice. I’m just calling it like it is. If you have questions, you can check out the archives and see if I have some answers. If you can’t find your answer, you can always try asking me. But if you have real questions - i.e. you’re hiding in a closet while the feds bang on your door - you need to consult with a tax professional. If you live in my corner of the world, that might be me. But see #1.

3. I do work at a law firm. Some might even say I’m a partner at said law firm. But this blog is in no way affiliated with my law firm. The other partner and my malpractice carrier insist on it. And I have to live with one of them. And it’s not my malpractice carrier. So, again see #1.

4. I’m not responsible for anything anybody says on this blog except me. But play nice. I don’t want to have to throw you out of here (there’s that deja vu to college again).

Says who?

Via the Billable Hour comes the following greeting card/comic. 

For more criminal law cartoons, visit www.Stus.com:

My Newest Blog-Legal Tweets

I've started a new blog called Legal Tweets, which covers legal topics trending on Twitter, the micro-blogging service that many lawyers have joined in recent months.

Check it out and tell all your friends!

I've started a new blog called Legal Tweets, which covers legal topics trending on Twitter, the micro-blogging service that many lawyers have joined in recent months.

Check it out and tell all your friends!

Yet another reason lawyers win the popularity contest...

5PM I Prefer Working in the Gutters Of Society

Arrogant attorney, in disgust: I would never do yard work. It would make me feel...poor.

Washington, DC
via Overheard in the Office, Jan 15, 2009

Sadly, people actually responded...

to this satirical job posting on Craigslist (hat tip ABA Journal):

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Associate Attorney (Midtown West)

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Reply to: [email protected] ^[?]
Date: 2009-01-13, 5:41PM EST

Fast-paced 20-attorney law firm looking for an eager associate to join our growing practice. We understand that you may be a newly-admitted attorney looking for their first job. We also know that the economy is harsh right now. However, we are willing to give you a chance. Here are the details of this spectacular opportunity:

* Your salary will be $30,000 per year. We understand that this may be on the low end(since you probably are six figures in debt), but we will be able to give you unlimited opportunities for experience and you'll be making six-figures soon enough. On the other hand, we will bill our clients $300 for every hour of your work; at least you will know your work is valued by us in several ways.

* There is no health insurance, but we have an on-site 2nd year medical student who will abide by the upmost professional standards take care of any illnesses or injuries that occur, both on-site and off-site.

* You will be expected to work 12 hour days, six (6) days of week. You will be afforded 1 week of vacation time, and three (3) sick days. Your vacation time is limited to the months of January and February, as we will need you to be in the office while the partners are taking their time off in the summer. The good news is that you will earn vacation and sick pay as soon as you start. The only holidays that the Firm observes are Christmas and Thanksgiving, but you must work a half-day, as we are a busy and important firm who adheres to our clients' needs.

* Your bonus, if earned (by billing 2100 hours per year), will consist of a one-year membership to a "food-of-the-mouth" club of your choice. In 2008, every associate took advantage of this valuable program and has benefited greatly for their hard work and dedication.

Please email resume, cover letter, salary history, law school and college transcripts to the address above. We will also need you to take a drug test. All resumes and credentials will be held in strictest confidence

Best Legal Disclaimer Ever

Thanks to Debra Snider for pointing out (on Twitter) the best lawyer disclaimer ever from Valorem Law Group:

Disclaimer

(Normally we would put this in really small print, but several leading eye physicians have advised us to stick to larger fonts).

We’re lawyers. Although we assume that everyone will understand that the information on this site is intended to make you want to call and hire us immediately, we see that big firms have these fancy disclaimers and we sure like tugging on their capes…. So here goes:

1. The information on this site (and in the blog) is not intended to create an attorney-client relationship. Frankly, you don’t want it to do so either. Since the site can be viewed by any person on the planet, claiming that we have an attorney client relationship as a result of this site would lead to an immediate claim that you’ve waived the privilege. If you’re crazy enough to want that outcome, we don’t want to be your law firm. Even if you contact us through the site or post a comment to the blog, that does not give rise to an attorney-client relationship either. Don’t you feel better now?

2. Don’t send us any confidential information until we expressly agree that we have any attorney-client relationship with you. After all, we might have a conflict of interest (given our size, that is pretty unlikely, but you never know for sure). So be smart and safe and keep it confidential until we say it’s okay to send stuff to us.

3. The sites that we link to via hyperlinks are not under our control. Those sites are responsible for the content of those sites. The sun, the moon and the rotation of the Earth are not under our control either. We’re working on it, but don’t hold your breath, and don’t try to make us responsible for other sites, bad weather, global warming or any malady that befalls you. If you try, we may have to send our crack in-house security team to visit you.

4. We are normal people, which means we don’t do tax law. Nothing in the site refers to or mentions tax law. If you have a tax question, you’re in the wrong place. Find a tax lawyer. Preferably one with a personality. Again, don’t hold your breath.

5. The world is an ever-changing place, which means that content can become outdated quickly. While we hope to avoid having outdated material on our site, we can’t guarantee that everything is timely, so don’t rely on the timeliness or accuracy of the information on the site. (Only a lawyer would put out information to impress you and then say “don’t rely on it.” And while we don’t want to come across like other lawyers, we don’t want to have to update our website every night either.)

So there it is. We’ve done the lawyerly thing. Aren’t you glad we got that out of the way. Now back to the revolutionizing of the practice of law.

Come Learn With Me at Solo Practice University

I'm thrilled to announce that I've joined the faculty at Solo Practice University™, a web-based educational community that will help you learn about the one thing that most law schools fail to teach: the "practice of law."

At Solo Practice University™ I'll be teaching a course about web productivity and organization for lawyers.

The marriage of law and technology is a passion of mine and I've been fascinated by technology and computers for as long as I can remember.

My love affair with computers began in the early 1980s with the TRS-80. I learned how to use the BASIC programming language and from that point on I was hooked.

My freshman year in college, I took a computer programming class and for my final project created the game "Mastermind" using the Pascal programming language.I was really proud of that project.

In 1995, the fabulous World Wide Web was revealed to me. Things have never been the same since.

I began blogging in 2005 and currently publish 4 blogs.  I am a social media enthusiast and am addicted to discovering and exploring the latest Web 2.0 web applications. 

I find the intersection of law and technology to be particularly fascinating and am doing all that I can to facilitate the fusion of these two seemingly reluctant soul mates.

Therefore, I look forward to teaching my fellow legal professionals about Web 2.0 technologies and how emerging technologies can simplify the practice of law.

Another reason I'm so excited about my faculty position at Solo Practice University™ is that it perfectly complements a new business venture I'm in the process of launching--lawtechTalk.  lawtechTalk will consist of webinars about the use of emerging Web 2.0 applications in your law practice.

The practice of law and technology are both fascinating fields. I look forward to exploring them with you!