to this satirical job posting on Craigslist (hat tip ABA Journal):
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Associate Attorney (Midtown West)
Reply to: job-991754136@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-01-13, 5:41PM EST
Fast-paced 20-attorney law firm looking for an eager associate to join
our growing practice. We understand that you may be a newly-admitted
attorney looking for their first job. We also know that the economy is
harsh right now. However, we are willing to give you a chance. Here are
the details of this spectacular opportunity:
* Your salary will be $30,000 per year. We understand that this may be on the low end(since you probably are six figures in debt), but we will be able to give you unlimited opportunities for experience and you'll be making six-figures soon enough. On the other hand, we will bill our clients $300 for every hour of your work; at least you will know your work is valued by us in several ways.
* There is no health insurance, but we have an on-site 2nd year medical student who will abide by the upmost professional standards take care of any illnesses or injuries that occur, both on-site and off-site.
* You will be expected to work 12 hour days, six (6) days of week. You will be afforded 1 week of vacation time, and three (3) sick days. Your vacation time is limited to the months of January and February, as we will need you to be in the office while the partners are taking their time off in the summer. The good news is that you will earn vacation and sick pay as soon as you start. The only holidays that the Firm observes are Christmas and Thanksgiving, but you must work a half-day, as we are a busy and important firm who adheres to our clients' needs.
* Your bonus, if earned (by billing 2100 hours per year), will consist of a one-year membership to a "food-of-the-mouth" club of your choice. In 2008, every associate took advantage of this valuable program and has benefited greatly for their hard work and dedication.
Please email resume, cover letter, salary history, law school and college transcripts to the address above. We will also need you to take a drug test. All resumes and credentials will be held in strictest confidence
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