How to really talk to cops.

Via Cracked.com comes this useful primer on how to talk to "da man". 

Some of my favorite pointers:

• When you see the familiar lights of a police car flashing in your rear view mirror, your immediate instinct is going to be speed up and try to lose him. Resist this urge. (Unless, of course, you’re pretty sure you can beat him.)

• Traditionally, cops like to make you wait when they pull you over. According to a recent scientific study, it’s because they’re assholes.

• Please be aware that you do not have to let any police officer search your car. When asked to step out of your car, you can politely say “I am not giving you consent to search my car,” as demonstrated in Ridelust’s video, or you can say “I ain’t steppin’ outta shit, all my paper’s legit,” as demonstrated in the Jay-Z hit “99 Problems.” (These are the only two choices.)

• Myth: Cops Will Not Respect You If You Throw Garbage At Them:
  FALSE. This is the only way to gain a cop’s respect and trust. (Please try this and tell me how it goes.)