Legal Antics

How to drum up business.

Another lawyer joke:

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

Lawyers in love

Hat tip:  Quizlaw via Non Sequitur

Well said, George. Well said.

It's all a matter of perspective.

A joke for your Wednesday reading pleasure:

A doctor, a lawyer and a mathematician were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress.

The lawyer says: "For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems.

The doctor says: "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security
lowers your stress and is good for your health.

The mathematician says: "You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife, you can do some mathematics.

Spitzer finds his true calling.

Hat tip: New York Personal Injury Law Blog.

Ah yes--yet another manly law student.

Here's another recent Craigslist listing:

law student looking - 25 (williamsburg)
Reply to: pers-607649012@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-03-15, 10:14PM EDT
hey ladies!

I am 25, from San Diego, and in Williamsburg to study law... I have been here for two years and am newly single...

I have been here for two years, but all the law school girls are like friends/sisters to me - so NOT dating prospects in any way

so... I am on here seeing if any ladies want to meet up for coffee, go on a date, and get to know one another

you be: attractive, open, talkative, and intelligent
I am: same

NOT, NOT, NOT trying to use this as a sex service (If I wanted JUST sex, believe me I could get that - and so could you - easily)

Hat tip:  Above the Law

I bet BigLaw's working on it already...

Via the Billable Hour comes the following comic/greeting card:

But, but...clients come first!

12PM No Matter How Much MacGyver I Watched As a Kid

Frustrated lawyer on phone: I know they are engineers! But I cannot draft a contract using only Venn diagrams, mathematic equations and animé references!

Lamar Overland Park
Kansas

Overheard by: Needs A Drink

via Overheard in the Office, Apr 9, 2008

Awesome George. Awesome.

Lawyers are always smarter than doctors in lawyer jokes, aren't they?

In the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere, two cars both slightly cross over the white line in the center of the road. They collide and a fair amount of damage is done, although neither is hurt. It is impossible to assess blame for the accident on either however.

They both get out. One is a doctor and the other is a lawyer. The lawyer calls the police on his car phone; they'll be there in 20 minutes.

It's cold and damp, and both men are shaken up. The lawyer offers the doctor a drink of brandy from his hip flask, the doctor accepts, drinks and hands it back to the lawyer, who puts it away.

"Aren't you also going to have a drink?" the doctor says.

"After the police get here." replies the lawyer.